30 ways to honour your wife/husband

Couple Honouring each other - is it really possible and is it necessary?

If you really want to be peaceful and happy - do to others what you want others to do to you.  So it is convenient to practice good honouring tactics so we get back the same. Ready for the ideas?

30 ways to honour your husband/wife
1. Avoid words that tear him/her down.
In public, with friends, in front of the kids ? Save your explanations of what you don’t agree with for private conversation. Let him know you’re in his/her corner even in all those moments he’s/she's oh-so-human.

2. Telling by actions how greatly you’re thinking of him/her.
Get His/her favourite drink from the coffee shop, a snack for tonight’s movie, the items on his hardware-store list, something that reminds you of him/her or a great moment you had together.

From now please replace the word him to him/her husband to husband/wife

3. Keep busy being generous in actions of love.
Even when you’re not feelin’ it. Make him a sandwich. Rub his feet. Since the goal is to honor your husband, be okay with him not noticing or appreciating it.

4. Verbalize your gratitude or praise sincerely and specifically.
Rather than gushing, this makes it easier to trust your words. Keep your eyes peeled for what he does right (if it helps, set a goal for how many to find each day).

5. Respond to that pet peeve he’s expressed.
Do it out of willingness rather than resentment.

6. Let him pick the restaurant.
Or movie or weekend plans.

7. In conflict, stay away from character assassination.
Nothing shows him you’re in his corner like the two of you being against your problems—not each other. It’s fine to confront! Just do it in a way you’d want someone to confront you—giving reams of grace and gentleness.

8. Keep a tight rein on your mouth.
Peace, silence and smile are the armoury of wise. If it doesn’t build up, isn’t the right time, isn’t gracious? Nix it.

9. Take care of yourself.
Eat healthy. Keep up a regular workout. Take a nap so you’re not fried after dealing with the kids. Wear that top he likes. Y’know, shave your legs and all that. But do it because it’s your adult choice rather than to gain acceptance.

10. Keep your voice even when he’s asking for something unrealistic.
If he asks you to do something that demonstrates how much he doesn’t “see” you, explain yourself calmly. No slammed cupboards necessary.

11. Loving physical contacts, kisses, newer ways in bed - find out

 Keep yourself and your partner totally satisfied  physically in each's companionship.

12. Ask for what you need.
Don’t just hope he’ll suddenly acquire Wife ESP. Honor your husband by verbalizing and agreeing on expectations together rather than assuming he should just know.

13. Be conscious of the “word bucket” levels.
If he’s less verbal, create space after he’s done working for the day to allow his communication capacity to regain equilibrium.

14. In conversation, help him shine.
Neither of you needs to dominate verbally.

15. Don’t nag.
When you’re both in a relaxed place, decide at what point it will be easier for both you to hire someone for that honey-do list. Honor your husband with your patience and teamwork rather than (cough) nagging.

16. Use your strengths (like administration or creativity) to set him up for success.
Rather than goading him about time with the kids, for example, ask him what kind of activities he’d like to do and how you can help him make those a reality without being part of the problem.

17. Before unloading about your day, ask about his.
If he’s not in a great state of mind, at times it’s okay temper your conversation accordingly (as long as withholding doesn’t become the norm; God longs for our marriages to be “naked and unashamed” emotionally, too [Genesis 2:25]). This is a great way to come to him with a less-entitled attitude regarding your emotional needs. Every once in a while, you might call a friend instead.

RECEIVE MORE ENCOURAGING CONTENT LIKE THIS DELIVERED TO YOUR INBOX!
18. Ask about what’s important to him at work.
The big meeting you were praying for, the project he’s invested in, the relationship that’s strained.

19. Show him the respect of asking him first.
Thinking about making a decision for your husband or going around him? Instead, say, “Hey, I know that before you haven’t liked this kind of thing, but I wanted to at least give you the opportunity to say ‘no’ rather than going around you.”

20. Be confident.
Don’t just opt for passivity or acquiesce to others.

21. Follow through even when he’s not there.
Provided you’re in a safe relationship, if he’s asked you not to do something (overspend, talk negatively to your friends, give in to the kids), don’t do it. From the heart.

22. Protect your schedule and energy.
A wife not burned out (and cranky)? Priceless.

23. Honor your husband by doing that little thing he loves.
Parking straight. Leaving the car full of gas. Washing the toothpaste out of the sink. Making that steak dish. Taking out the trash (even if it’s his job).

24. If he slips up in conversation with others, help him rescue things.
Do it without anyone noticing. If he slips up in personal conversation with you, overlook if it’s not a big deal. Be kind if it is.

25. Don’t try to manipulate a “yes” or control things behind his back.
When he says no to something, accept his agency and personhood.

26. Be proactive in bed. 
Give him/her love more than they give you.

27. Realize how sex addresses emotional needs at his core.
Refrain from rolling your eyes about his sexuality or treating sex as a have-to. Don’t let it become rote, just physical, or nonexistent.

Address life’s libido-sucking “noise”—the overpacked schedule, the lack of self-care, the smartphone, the laundry that could stand to stay unfolded. And start nurturing your own sexuality as an act of love for him.

Check out FamilyLife’s Married With Benefits podcast episode, “Why Is He So Interested in Sex?”

28. Rather than pushing and making plans, get his agreement.
Be his shield. Help celebrate his boundaries when you can, rather than insisting on yours.

29. Let him know you desire him.
When sex is an obligation, statistically, 97% of men would rather not engage! If that’s tough for you, get intentional about setting up connection time beforehand.

30. Give him the respect of withholding assumptions.
When you think he’s done something wrong, ask, “Hey, when you did __, it felt like you were ___. But I wanted to suspend making that call until I had a chance to ask what was going on. Can you help me understand?”

Obviously having good reasons doesn’t always mean someone’s off the hook. Honour your husband by avoiding snap judgments (just like you’d want him to make about you)